How To Dine Out With Kids

How To Dine Out With Kids

Take kids to appropriate places. Can I be more specific? Nope. What place is appropriate for your kid(s) is going to depend on their manners, behavior, palate, etc. Some quite young children are fine at high-end restaurants. Most young children, however, are going to be better off at casual, family-friendly places where service is quick, crayons are included, and no one is expecting whisper-perfect quiet. Does this mean you don't always get to eat exactly where you want because your kids are "going through a stage"? It may. Parenting involves many such sacrifices. Not to worry: if you follow the items here you can hopefully minimize that stage and get back to your dining life.

No special rules. The same rules that apply to you apply to your kids. Would you wander between the tables? Make faces at fellow diners? Throw food? Yes, yes, I know some of you will say that you want to, but would you? No. And that's because you have some manners. Kids need to follow these same rules in order to learn those same rules. Not later, as my colleague seemed to think. (One exception: drawing at the table or playing with a small, non-noise-making toy.) An exception many people make but makes me extremely sad: screens at the table. I understand the temptation, I truly do, and all of us with kids have been there where we just need to hand over the electronic babysitter and talk to our friend. As a rule or habit, though, it teaches children dreadful manners and doesn't give them the chance to learn how to participate in conversation or develop the ability to entertain themselves. You don't end up with a teenager capable of talking to grown-ups at dinner if you've just handed them your phone at every restaurant meal for thirteen years.

Enforce the rules. If it's okay to throw the Cheerio on the floor, why not the bowl of soup? No need to yell or make a scene, but teaching kids manners involves calm (and extremely boring) repetition. Over and over again: use a fork, keep your mouth closed when chewing, say thank you, speak in an indoor voice, etc. etc.

Take them outside. Even at boisterous family places, no one wants to hear your baby cry or your kid have a tantrum. When that happens, you take the child out of the restaurant. The change of scenery tends calms a baby down and it gives a young kid a chance to recalibrate. Some meals may need to be cut short, packed up, and toted home. The essence of etiquette is to avoid infringing on others. Think of these circumstances as an opportunity to model that for your children.

Same rules at home. This one is optional, but I highly recommend it. I've heard of families where they have a "restaurant night" to "practice." Maybe for little kids that really haven't been out this could be good, and if it works for people, more power to them. I've always found, however, that it makes a lot of sense to just teach kids manners for meals at home, too.